Friday, December 09, 2005
Its been a while. I don't seem to be around too much eh. It's because I got my hands full. Let me recap what i learnt since O levels ended.
First off , I realised ... i seldom placed myself in the some one else's position. Almost next to never. I always thought people that who cried , who are anguished , who are depressed , having sucidal thoughts because of not being with the people that they love are simply pussies. I am sorry , but i got rid of that mentality. Im sorry for at laughing, ridiculing , getting fed up and stuff at you all. It was because i never understood the pain you all felt. But now , i really do.
I always wondered why people should feel that way. It was because i took things for granted. I never thought my friends would eventually leave me, i would be constantly away from the people that had a place in my heart. True , all of you said ,' Lets keep in contact' but how many of you will really make the effort? True , you told me ' I will try my best to spend time with you' but can you reall afford to do so? The future looks pretty bleak.
Secondly , i learnt how you can learn to hate your job. I always thought a job was just a job , you wont exactly hate it anyway. Terrible mistake. Ever since i took up the job at minitoons , i realised that i didnt look forward to going to work , time passed so slowly. How i missed merchant court. At least it was interesting back there. Time flew by. I promised my self , i would never ever get another job that i would hate. If i dont like it , i will leave, dont stay for the sake of being scared others saying you CMI. Its better to eat humble pie rather than suffer a long period of time.
Last but not the least, i learnt how people change. Despite acting cool and everything when changes appear , deep thought , i always thought friends would always be friends , their friendship would never die so easily , they will be always who they are. But im wrong , all wrong. No matter how i try and try to make things like what they were before, its impossible. Even i have changed alot. From the cranky , happy go lucky me in lower sec , to the sec 3-4 me that was extremely skeptical and sinister. Eventually i became who i am now, some one who has been hurt , bruised but willing to take on the world again. I learnt many lessons the hard way. I may have become more shrewd, cunning , wary , cautious , alert and sensitive but now , i learnt how to really care for people. Because , i wanna be cared for.
posted at [11:08 AM]
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