All alone in my design studio now. I mean who the hell would come so early besides me. I know theres stuff to be completed but i am simply just lazing around at times... Oh well..
Any way , im kinda enjoying my poly life. Busy indeed but at times , its much better than secondary school. Here , i am given much freedom but it all comes with a heavy price tag. The price tag that may be insignificant to some yet at the same time could be too expensive for some to bear. The loss of free time and sleep. Projects , club meetings , social outings have been taking up at least 16 hours of my average day. However , i know , its just the starting of 3 years . Lets just hope i can get used to this pretty fast.
Pc is down , not like it really mattered alot though , i simply don't even have time to use to the computer for long msn chats anyway , let alone play games. Hopefully , it gets fixed by today.
Life's a mystery. There are stuff that i took 4 months and still can't get over. Yet, i can easily forget many of the happy times i had during my break. Or could it simply be that there was really no happy times during my holiday? I suppose so. What is sweet could turn sour eventually if not kept well. Not alone applies to food but to relationships and memories as well.
I keep getting asked. What's holding me back? I don't really know too. Perhaps it could simply be that i still can put down whats left and gone. It could also be that I am a coward to face up to expectations. As i said , i really don't understand where all of this is heading. I don't get a single clue, i am playing the game with lots of sneaky competitors. I am sick of it. Perhaps i just forget it all and once again lead the life of a vagrant. I see no point in holding on to things that does not what to be held on. It's time to just let go i suppose.
Hm... its getting cold in here , no ones really around me anyway. Better go seek my solace from the cold world. The 50 cent hot milo at the vending is all that is still warm.
posted at [9:09 AM]
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Damn, its really been a while since i last blogged. PC down , connections down. Well, mainly the good ole friends of mine. I do miss ya guys. Especially the smac gang. Hopefully i will have more time to hang out with you guys.
Now lets talk about poly life. Lifes hectic and all in a mess. Things are moving too fast for my liking. Its been a while i really sat back and relaxed like i used to. Running all over the place to meet up with new friend and to finish up on school stuff such as projects and club activities. Things are just too much for me to be comfortable with.
Life moves on? Yeah kinda.
People i met so far are pretty good. Met really tons of new friends. Sometimes people just greet me and i can barely recognize them. Thats the down point of having too many friends. Thats not really good,because it makes me look insincere about the friendship. But really , if i could , i would keep them all close to my heart.
Alright , thats enough about the boring stuff. Heres what i believe many of you want to see. Girls. :p. I swear i will upload pics of my classmates as soon as im free. I'm really confused recently about stuff. BGR. Something that hasn't really crossed my mind until recently. Theres like a lot of girls i met recently and they each possess a certain thing about them that makes me want to be with them. Hey hey , my brothers out there , i know its wrong and sinful but dont get my point wrong , im not about to take on multiple courtships at a time. My plan? Let nature take its course. Hang out with them and if any thing develops from then on , then let it be. I don't think i will purposely make the effort to go chase some one ever again.
This is for you. I don't understand... why must you really wipe out every single trace... Sometimes , the pictures , the videos , the e-mails we exchanged. Everytime i wanted to press that delete button, i just freeze. Perhaps you are really stronger than me.
Any way , i think my blog will be updated regularly as its my only way to communicate with my friends since i wont be using msn for some time. True friends do stay and last.. Let me indulge in this little dream ...
posted at [10:46 AM]
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Its been a while since i last blogged... Always wanted to... but lazy to. Haha, but since i will MIA for some time due to two camps , one after another , i decide to jot down what went through my mind these few days...
Been going out practically daily... with jingxiang , it will be shopping time! However hanging out with wei jie they all can be quite fun too. Badminton followed up by a good meal then off to LanLab we go. Dinner with them is good too... and it always seems to drag... don't you all wish time just stop moving some times?
Ok... thats what i have been doing recently... but what i really want to blog is what i have been thinking alot about recently... In the past ... i used to make fun and think less of people that I deem as ugly. However , something is bugging me recently... First of all , don't they all have a face , a body and a soul like i do? So what even if i think they are ugly? For all you know , i might be the most horrible looking freak to them.
Not only that ... i keep poking fun at them... but at the end of the day , what do i get? I get worried , I am afraid that some one exactly like me would laugh at me , saying I am ugly some day. Won't i feel unhappy and inferior too?
So what even if i think they are ugly? Look beside them , those big fat dinosaurs that we always at in orchard always seem to have the pretty lass / prince charming with them. And who do i have beside me? My buddies who only have me beside them. They have a decent partner and yet we don't. Isn't it a fact that we are inferior? Their appearance may look awkward , but i believe they are definitely nicer than we are. If not , why do they have the pretty guys and girls whereas we get shit?
If we really are not even comparable with those people we deem as ugly freaks, shouldn't we feel guilty at mocking at them , ashamed of ourselves? At least they have some one to hear them out , cares about them , loves them , be with them. We , at least I , don't.
We always tell others to leave us alone... but do we really love being alone? Have you ever walked through orchard road alone? Do you feel a sense of loss and loneliness? I do. I am sick of being alone. Don't even talk about friends. There are things that friends can and will not do for you. They can walk with you down the road... but there is no point if you still feel left out because they already have their other half. If you have your other half , then the voidness will be filled.
Do you feel alone? I do :)
posted at [11:37 PM]
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