Saturday, December 13, 2008
Now that it all seems clear to me, yeah, i would never trust you again. You got too many dark secrets that i might never even discover even if i were to search my whole life.
Wishing we could turn back the hands of times, is the only thing i crave in my lifetime.
Wishing that things stay the same, even though they will never be the same again.
posted at [11:21 PM]
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Sunday, December 07, 2008
Life has sort of stabilized for me. But now i feel so lost. Life is so hectic, and i feel so numb. Every day, i just sit on the train , wondering, where when can i stop in life. To take a break, and enjoy the walk in the park like i always dream of.
Nightmares keep coming back to haunt me. I cant help but feel betrayed. I cant help to feel helpless, I cant help but feel lonely.
It used to be so easy, to just pick up the phone and connect. But now , i feel so out of connection with every one. I feel like i'm alone in this world. I want to get out of this vicious cycle and get to find friends which i can once again depend on.
Yet at times , i enjoy this solitude of mine. To walk alone, to be oblivious to the people around me. I just wanna sit down there and watch people walk by.
If i had to use one word to describe my life now, i guess it would the word LOST.
I am good in the things i did, and the things i do and the things i will be doing. But does it really matter? I'm known as some one who is capable, independent and popular. But is it really the case?
I am capable because i just want to be right, because i put in more effort and going the extra mile for that passion in life of mine.
I am independent because things things i fight for, are things people would agree, but never fight for. I am independent because no one stands by me and i don't seek people to do so.
I am popular because i always seems to have alot of friends. Only on the surface. Does any one really tried to understand me? Bro, is what they call when they need help or when they are lonely. The fact is i just need a couple of friends, a couple of real solid friends.
Yes, i am negative in this post. So? Does it matter? I don't even know what i'm really writing or even doing in my life. I'm just doing what most people do daily.
Going through the motion.
But i ain't happy.
posted at [10:56 PM]
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