Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Life has never been so cool ... these few days seem so relaxed and enjoyable... but im still searching for my paradise and the one... i have been working harder than before ... not as good but still getting better already.
I wonder what i am going through recently ... some people say its hell , some people think its heaven ... to me , it just a road to heaven. Not heavenly yet but still close to that. Life has changed me so much ... from some one who regards friendship alot ... i learnt that friendship is everything ... you must learn to break away from friendships the moment you know they won't last. I also agree with what people say that primary school friends will be your closest friends. As people grow up , they think more complicated.
They are no longer easy satisfied by the many things that life has to offer ... i wonder why every one has become like this. I hope to have a friend who i can really trust in school but some times I am scared that i will get hit from all sides. I just hope that no one will come give me trouble any more. All i ask from those who i call friends and who call me friends to leave me alone , please , don't touch me or i will harm you. Yeah , I am paranoid ,scheming, crafty, sadistic, weak but ... who are you all to judge me ?
To those who don't believe i am trying to turn over a new leaf and think i am just plotting something... let me tell you a secret , im planning hire an assasin to take you out. Recently , i also becoming more extremist and my mood changes very fast. So get out of my life and leave me alone ,for it will be the best for all of us. Thank you.
To those who actually care , thanks for being there when i need it your help the most. I will remember your kindness.Once again, Thank You.
To those who claims to care and to be my friend but stabbed me in my back when i was going through this period of my life, fuck you. I mean it , fuck you. Whats your problem? You really think i am blind ? I just pretended to ignore it because i thought we could still be friends one day. But life has taught me , people like youall are not worth my time , no matter how worthless it may be. Get OUT OF MY LIFE. Thank You.
posted at [8:06 PM]
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Im starting to stray from my resolutions for the year already ... damned ... slacking and sleeping is the easiest thing to do ever ... nothing can be compared to those 2 good activities ...
Starting to hate school ... nothing left that i desire in school ... there used to people that make me want to go school , look and them and say wow... nowadays , go school see alot of people will just go sian .... , hypocrites , little kiddos and many other not very flattering comments ... even the teachers that teach me also so sian... the only thing i look forward to is the pratical lessons , though chemistry 1 is much much better than physics even though i have no clue what is going on in chemistry classes...
The world is just getting more boring to me ... no thrill , no purpose but , suicide has never been on my mind ... recently some things happened to a friend of mine ...i don't even know whether i can call him friend or not ... w/e ... why must he attempt suicide when things are not going well? is the world really that bad ? i can't believe that i never treated life as something that is so fragile until now ... life could be ended so easily but it takes so long to grow and mature ... but when it finally grows up , it will be strong and pretty. Besides , we don't live in a world that belongs to others ... we have to create our own world so that every thing can be better , to us , the perfect world ... and one of the most important thing to achieve that would be looking at life from a different angle then it start to shape in your wishes... bad or good , you choose , no longer others.
posted at [11:12 PM]
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Almost 13 days never update huh... too little time , too much things to do.
Lets start with genting ... pretty cool and i mean cooooool... 10-14 degrees all the time ... so freakin cold..went with my mum , auntie and cousin.Go there , play indoor amusement park ... cos dont dare to go out side 1... so cold plus i scared of heights .. definitely a no-no , and go there eat pizza hut like siao haha cos there nothing else much nice to eat ... the fog there was really bad ... but hey , it looks really cool. I bought alot of chocolates , intending to give to some people but i guess that there is no need now , neither do i feel like giving any way.Pretty fun , every second there was fun, long time since i had so much fun.Then got this little kid who is also from singapore playing bumper cars that very friendly 1 , 7 years old only , so friendly and cheerful. We often tag-teamed and when to bully other ppl :p. What a cute and interesting little boy. Then i also went to the snow world or sth liddat and took photos and played with the snow..Kinda sad that i have to go back on that day but there also like nothing much to play or shop already.Staying on would be wasting time.
Came back home , slept then got my sister chalet liao... first day not so bad ... got about 10-20 peeps there all my sister npcc friends and a few of her close secondary school friends ...had bbq fire set up in record time :) if only every bbq fire was set up this fast. Lots of food and drink.Then later at night when most ppl went home , me and a few of my sister's friends went to macafe and on our way back , started raining , so we ranned all the way back.... also the reason why i got flu.By the next morning , only left my sis , me and her friend in chalet. so we slept until 1pm then they say wanna go bedok eat japanese meal at sumo house , pretty cheap 4.90 for a set meal.then i went to clarke quay settle some business. then later i go back chalet at 5pm , all still sleeping ... so we went mac to eat.and met up with my er jie and her bf. we went back to our chalet and set up bbq fire again.a small one and we just brought the chairs and table out and just sat by the fire to bbq and eat at the same time. then we played Bingo. lol , interesting game. then after a while , my er jie need to go sleep le cos she working tml , so she and her bf went to sleep and we 3 just continued sitting there , talking until the fire died down at around 4am , then my er jie wake up and say she need to go home bath and prepare for work already , so we moved into the room and rest.my elder sis fell asleep very quickly , then i continue to talk cock with my sis friend. after a while, her friend called her and i went to sleep. next morning , my mum came with my cousin and we went to eat dim sum before going home.
Exhuasted after the chalet and genting. First day of school like so sianz , i seem like im detached from the world already. Also got my priorities right , knew who i could trust and who not to , knew who had my best interests at heart and who are my real friends.
New year resolutions:
1)Work harder , as much A1 and A2 as possible and b3 minimum , working hard to acheive it
2)Stop messing around with everything and everyone , just dont fool around any more
3)Lead healthy lifestyle , more fruits and veggies , more jogging and exercise
4)No more computer games or bball
5)Start a brand new by forgetting everyone and everything.Live in new world
Recently i realised that i would be much better off living in a world of my own where only a few people could enter...Therefore , i will no longer try to please any one any more... you don't like it, then just get lost
posted at [6:40 PM]
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